Fallen Soldier

I never used to be a weeper. Sure, there were situations that would make cry or even certain books or films (Kramer versus Kramer, anyone?), but I could generally handle arguments, conflicts and criticism without getting teary. In recent times, however, I've found that this has changed.

Just last week, after a minor argument with my partner, I found tears streaming down my face on a public train (yes, it's as mortifying as it sounds!). Even the smallest of disagreements seems to set me off. It was all okay until last week when I find myself crying as I listened to utterly forgettable song, 'No Air' by reality TV star Jordin Sparks and 'teen sensation' Chris Brown. I couldn't fathom why such froth had me blubbering like a baby.

The people closest to me have noticed this change: one of them recently asked, "What happened to you? You used to be a soldier". My best friend says that I'm growing older and more sensitive, but I have my own theory.

I reckon I've gone soft since my father passed away last year. They say time heals all wounds and while I can just about think about him without dissolving into tears, I think his absence has had a profound effect on me.

I've been told that parenthood makes people more emotional. I think that perhaps losing a parent has the same effect; it weakens you somehow so that everyday things affect you more. It's a hard thing to admit since I've always had a Superwoman Complex (I can do everything on my own without the help of anyone). I guess I'm learning that no matter how much strength you think you have, life can take it away. All we can do is try to rebuild it, even if it takes a river of tears.